The Do’s and Don’ts of Handling Anxiety

I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that the “normal” stresses of life have increased significantly in the past few years. Whether due to societal, financial, physical, relational, political factors or weather, most of us could probably attest to feeling a heightened sense of underlying anxiety. We have our moments, maybe even our days (or weeks!), of feeling tense, restless, uneasy, waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop.

The truth is, anxiety is a universal and normal response to current and changing life situations. At its best, it keeps us on our toes and helps us to stay alert for danger. At its worse, it takes on a life of its own, seeping into all other areas of our lives, draining our mental and emotional energies in the process. Anxiety keeps us stuck inside of ourselves, unavailable to others and, as it happens, to our own true self as well.

I have always run a bit on the anxious side. Thankfully, over the years, I have discovered some clear “do’s and don’ts” regarding this subject which have often been my saving grace.

Don’t feed the anxiety. Strange as it might sound, when we are feeling uneasy, we often do things that feed our anxiety rather than quell it. What do we feed it? Social media, news, lack of sleep, over-spending, excessive use of sugar or alcohol or drugs or caffeine. I will never forget the morning of 9/ll when the first thing I did was to make myself another pot of caffeinated coffee.

We also feed our anxiety when we look for supporting evidence, especially by reminding ourselves of past times of having similar insecurities. When these past anxieties are piled on top of our current ones, it’s a wonder we can get out the door!

Don’t force any solutions. Sometimes we need to wait and see how a situation or relationship might go. The anxiety of waiting can cause such discomfort, that we may tend to force a solution long before its time. Although waiting and “not knowing” is difficult, reacting prematurely is almost always counterproductive.

Which brings us to the “Do’s” --

Do pause. Sometimes the best action to take is no action at all. There is a deep wisdom in practicing the pause during moments of heightened anxiety. To make a concerted effort to stop. Take a breath. Do nothing. Wait. See what will happen. Know that more will be revealed.

Do increase your self-care. Even though you may be tempted to do the exact opposite, one of the best antidotes for heightened stress is to get right back to basics regarding self-care. Eat timely and healthily, rest when tired, get out in the air and sunshine, drink a big glass of water, look as good as you can, share your concerns with a trusted friend who is compassionate and knows what it is like to live in the uneasiness of anxiety.

Do cultivate inner peace. Breathe. Meditate. Read spiritual passages. Take time between the events of your life. Reflect on what’s going good. Journal about it. Chances are that it is more than you think.

And remember what the great Mystic Rumi had to say:

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor…Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”